Aida Rodriguez
LET'S TALK ABOUT SHAME
We were taught as minorities to hide our “weaknesses”.
But why is it weak for me to be true to myself?
Why is it weak to admit I feel?
This loneliness consumes me in a world of people where I am known to be a social butterfly.
This shadow walking me home, at times covering the sun and raining on my velvet boots.
We were taught to not vent or discuss our struggles.
How hard it becomes to scream inside my head but show my happy cheeks in public.
But yet again we were taught to keep moving forward, lips sealed and eyes down.
Enter Mac Miller.
From “self love”, “the ugly truths of how we do what we know even if its trauma” to the “you can hang your heart here” and “you come first advice”.
The irony that you’re gone but that could be me.
I think of you from time to time when I feel godly but it’s because I refuse to keep laying on the ground in distress from how numb the world can make me.
The truth sometimes is that others are the reason we wake up but the fact you sing in my ear discussing how self love is the only love
makes me open my eyes and kick these red velvet boots in the rain.
Your reality is many of ours.
From the “my family is slowly killing my dreams”,
or “this childhood abuse hangs like a necklace”.
You walked in.
You stayed.
Taught a lesson and killed shame.
For that act of bravery,
I am grateful.
EL CONEJO MALO
I wear what I want when I want.
Stares have never stopped me.
I do what I want when I want.
Living in a world of trends and followers only reminded me I’d never belong.
Having odd quirks and doing as I wish only pushed me further out.
Alcabo que la gente siempre critica.
They always laugh and deflect their insecurities.
Pero eso no es mi problema.
Que sigan con el bochinche,
because they don’t pay my bills.
I dont need someone telling me I need approval.
Like Bad Bunny says, “Estoy en mi peak.”
He breaks masculine stereotypical barriers and reminds us we are
to be whoever we want to reach our happiness.
Being that he’s Latinx only makes me walk taller.
My genderfluidity feels validated when his nails are done.
His lyrics about how he does and expresses his art
in an industry of misogynistic men only motivates me
to ignore the expectations society has of me.
But I am a woman and Latinx so I should watch who I date and, actually, I shouldn’t date.
Just get married, have kids, stay silent and lower my head.
I refuse.
People criticize because he feels women should be free.
His voice supports transgender women so then the world thinks something must be wrong.
His message simply declares that no one’s self love, self-identity, sexuality,
or existence should be so bad to threaten yours.
He reminds simple minded, small ego men that we don’t need them.
Perreamos solas y esta perfectamente bien.
Benito Antonio Martinez Ocasio gets it.
We claim Bad Bunny.
Aida Rodriguez Barrera is a latinx, genderfluid poet, also known by her poet name Cuppycake or Sebastian. She is currently an undergraduate at UTSA and is double majoring in English Language Arts with a concentration in Mexican American Studies and African American Studies and in Art History. She enjoys the Culinary Arts and plans to continue to break cultural stereotypes, homophobic teachings,, and expose our toxic upbringings with her writings. More of her pieces can be seen on Cuppycake Writings and Poetry on Facebook.